When you compare yourself with others, you can feel that you don't match up. You might feel that you are ‘worse-off’ or that they’re in some way ‘better’ than you.
This could lead to endless and overwhelming negative comparisons that get in the way of your daily life.
If you can relate to this, you might feel that you are losing your confidence and your sense of self.
When worrying about what others think, you are looking outside of yourself for approval.
So, how do you begin to look within yourself for approval? How do you reduce the impact that opinions of others may have on your self-esteem?
The first thing is being kind to yourself. This might feel difficult and different if you are used to being self-critical. You may attempt to diminish the good and just focus on any perceived negative. But if you are able to watch your self talk you can in time replace that negative self talk with compassion.
Think about your own values. What is important to you? Once you know your own values and aim to live by them, what others choose to think about you is their issue. Don’t follow the crowd to “fit in”. It’s OK to have different aspirations and attitudes, that’s what makes you who you are.
Keep a journal of 3 positive things that you have done each day. Once we notice the good things that we do or feel each day we begin to appreciate ourselves more and we don’t need the approval of others to define us.